Useful solutions to relieve tension when trying to be a parent first or second time around
- Are you amongst the many couples experiencing difficulty in falling pregnant?
- Are you trying to cope with your infertility (sub-fertility) and possibly undertaking a treatment of assisted fertility?
- Are you finding it too stressful trying to balance your work and home life, whilst juggling a whole host of doctor’s appointments, tests, examinations and diagnostic procedures and monitoring ovulation and timing intercourse?
As if all this isn’t enough, you may also be facing the cost and discomfort of solving any problems with fertility and the unwelcome side effects of fertility treatments, such as weight gain.
- Is it any wonder then, that your physical and mental health suffers as you face the roller coaster effect on your emotions?
The negative emotions and the sadness can be overwhelming, as can the worry and anxiety about whether you will become pregnant this month.
When the whole focus of your life is trying to become a parent, you can easily lose yourself and be slowed down by the devastating effects of stress
How to not lose yourself on your fertility journey
According to modern day philosopher John de Ruiter, when giving advice on how to make conceiving your second child more successful…
Shift perspective to end secondary sub-fertility
Start by shifting your focus away from yourself and what this child will do for you, but what you can do for this child
Ask yourself:
- What are you going to be when you conceive this child?
- What are you going to give this child?
- Are you looking to be a parent to raise the child or go on a heart level (or go even deeper to a being level) in order to relate to your child more than you as an adult raising this child?
By choosing to not raise your child from the perspective of an adult, but rather as a connection of two hearts you will in turn value being in your heart within yourself, more than valuing yourself.
The deeper you come from within, the deeper you are infusing what you do and your relationship.
When raising your child, your child looks to you, at what you are coming from more than what you say – what you are coming from is deeper than your words.
Therefore, ask yourself:
What level of yourself are you offering this child?
For more help on this matter, contact Fiona for a session today, click here.
Understanding limitation and devastation of stress
The inherent stress that can come with your journey to becoming a parent, can have a negative impact for your mental and physical health. 
This stress often prevents you from getting pregnant by keeping you busy doing other things like worrying, harbouring negative thought patterns and just being angry with yourself, your partner and with anybody in your circle who appears to find it easy to fall pregnant.
Biologically when you are stressed your body produces the hormone adrenaline, which effectively tells your body that it is not a good time to conceive. The stress hormone cortisol is also released, which can suppress ovulation, sperm count and libido.
As well as eating a balanced, organic diet and ensuring you get good sleep, try to make changes in your life so that you feel more relaxed, such as:
o Reaching out – Feeling alone when you’re trying to conceive can make it harder to cope with stress. Your social network is one of your best tools for handling stress. Talk to others, your friends, partner, family and friends – preferably face to face, or at least on the phone. Share what’s going on. You can get a fresh perspective while keeping your connection strong.
o You may find it helpful to join a group – groups can offer you support. You could get in touch with:
o Lighten up and remember to laugh – watch a funny film with your partner; laughing releases feel good endorphins.
o Be grateful – keep a diary of all the positive things in your life. When you are feeling down or having negative thoughts, look through your diary and re-appreciate all the good things in your life.
o Show Some Love – Induce the relaxation response by cuddling your pet, giving an unexpected hug to a friend or family member, snuggling with your spouse, or talking to a friend about the good things in your lives. When you do, you’ll be reducing your stress levels.
o Take time out for your love life – Ultimately, this amazing journey is about two people creating another person. To put the excitement back in your sex life, anticipate being sexual with your partner, communicate openly with them, and respect their feelings when you’re trying to conceive (even when you’re not).
Along with self-help techniques, you can also work with a natural fertility consultant, who can guide and teach you how to make even more effective changes that will work for you
Here are some of the tried and tested techniques you can appreciate through a comprehensive mind and body healing programme on offer from natural fertility consultants, at Awakening Fertility:
o Fertility Meditation Techniques
o Creative visualisation
o Fertility Mindfulness Techniques
o Fertility self- massage
o Fertility Yoga – QiYoga®
o Energy Field Healing
For a full explanation of these techniques see our Awakening Fertility article
Techniques for clearing trauma, mental blocks and limiting belief systems
Acknowledging that you need help with your feelings is often as hard as admitting that you are having trouble having a baby. You are experiencing a life crisis and you need to seek support and guidance from others. Try not to think that joining a support group or seeing a natural fertility consultant is a negative, but rather as a positive step. You are acknowledging your desire to improve your present situation, to explore your feelings and to feel better about yourself.
In so doing you are giving yourself, your partner and your unborn child the best possible chances of achieving a healthy pregnancy
Resources
http://www.imsublime.co.uk/energy-field-healing
http://www.babymed.com/getting-pregnant/7-tips-to-relax-when-trying-get-pregnant http://www.pregnancyandbaby.com/conception/articles/945693/how-to-keep-sex-exciting-when-trying-to-conceive
http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/blissing-out-10-relaxation-techniques-reduce-stress-spot
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/x561002/can-stress-affect-my-chances-of-getting-pregnant#ixzz3bRJODGt6
Other Topics Worth Reading:
- Techniques for clearing trauma, mental blocks and limiting belief systems – Read here
- Get Your Confidence Back: Regain Confidence for Pregnancy Success – Read here
- Keeping on The Positive Path, Despite Setbacks – Read here
- Meditation, Mindfulness and Relaxation for Fertility – Read here
- Am I Depressed Trying to Conceive? Take this Quiz – here
About the author:
Fiona Boulton is a Fertility Specialist
(An expert in her field since 2007) and leader in Fertility Mind Mastery, Fertility Meditation, Fertility Yoga and Fertility Coaching –
helping people take back control of their fertility, faster.
Fiona is the founder of Awakening Fertility – Harley Street (Harley Street Fertility Clinic), London; Concept Fertility Putney; Chichester, West Sussex and Perth, Australia
- Huffington Post Fertility Writer
- Fertility Coach
- Fertility Support Group Co-ordinator for Harley Street Fertility Clinic and Infertility Network UK
- Nutrition Counsellor
- Public Speaker
- Author
- Blogger
- QiYoga® Founder
- Fertility Yoga Teacher Trainer (RYS 200)
- Fertile Lifestyle Motivator
- Fertility Support Group Facilitator
- Fertility Practitioner Training Co-ordinator
Through Fiona’s “transformation guaranteed” Fertile Lifestyle courses, Fiona helps navigate major transitions to detox your mind and body to help you effectively ‘think yourself fertile’; to change the map your mind has of your body and therefore change your physiology by clearing mental and emotional blockages to having your baby. Fiona’s work focuses on you taking back control by changing the internal and external environment of your cells so you can improve chances of fertility success.
Book your fertility consultation from the comfort of your home or come to the Harley Street Fertility Clinic for a transformative session with Awakening Fertility founder Fiona Boulton, here.
This John De Ruiter is really deep… Need to get my head around this. I think I understand it… Please run through it in more detail when we next meet for my session with you… Thank you.
Secondary infertility really is so hard to deal with. Thank you for this new insight, anything is helpful…
I like John’s thoughts on conceiving a baby, and it being a meeting of two hearts. When I think about conceiving from this perspective it gives me a feeling of being more open and uncomplicated. I’d be interested to hear his thoughts on involving your partner to make it a meeting of three hearts?
Hi Katie
I agree! The best thing to do is to meet with John and ask him directly. Here is the link to his website: http://johnderuiter.com
Click onto his calendar to see when he is next in Europe and the UK :)
Fascinating stuff!
… Just what I needed to read :)
Thank you